Mid-Spring Break Crisis

past-mid, more like 3/4.

When you're in the daily grind, thoughts of extended breaks like 3-day weekends, Christmas, spring, and summer keep you going. A week ago, I was devoting the majority of my time, energy, and thoughts to helping my students prepare for a district assessment. My space of solace existed in thoughts of spending time off for an entire 10 days.

I could do much during those 10 days. 10 days is like an eternity. I could plan the entire final 10 weeks of the school year. I could visit my sister's new home. I can spend a few at the beach, do some shopping, hoop, catch a few Laker games, spend time w/ friends and fam, read a few books, watch some movies, run, take care of a BUNCH of errands I've been meaning to take care of like fix my damn transmission...

10 days. 10 days is like an eternity.

Well, now 7 of those are up. 3 are left. And I feel like I'm in a mid-spring break crisis.

Thoughts of re-entering the daily grind of teaching creep into my head. For the past few nights, I've dreamt of teaching. I wake confused and wonder if I'm late only to realize... hey I'm on spring break and I don't even have work today! Or tomorrow, or the next day even. It feels good. But eventually I know the morning will come where I must grab coffee, fill thermos, lug teaching gear to the trunk, search for the latest spot in audacity of hope, (or maybe I should check npr first), and go. And teach. And no longer be in this place where I can finally move slow and think of things I cannot think of otherwise.

Like tonight. Tonight, I watched the movie 'Dan in Real Life.' I expected comedy but what I got was romance. Romantic comedy? Is that what they're called? Well, apparently I'm a sucker for romantic comedies b/c watching Dan, whose stuck in a life struggling to raise 3 girls as a widow, be surprised when love met him at a bookstore made my heart melt. I believe movies gained momentum during the depression b/c they provided an escape for folks struggling to get by, and this movie definitely made me escape and when it ended all I could do was read reviews online and on wikipedia about this movie and that actress, geez that actress, b/c damn, I think I'm going to spend each day in a bookstore next week so that I could be surprised by love too!

I mean: when you feel vulnerable wonderful and awful and heartsick and alive all at the same time. How can you not want that for yourself!?

I know this is untraditional of me in my blog to ramble like this where I just let consciousness roam free but someone once told me 'life doesn't fit into one box and neither do you!' So I don't care.

Truth is, spring break's been great. Refreshing, relaxing, productive, efficient, friends and family-oriented all at the same time. I've been running, reading, eating, and living I don't look forward to it ending but I also do. I do enjoy the work I do, my job, and I look forward to getting back into the flow, but I do hope to continue to free up time for Ian so that life won't always be about Mr. G.