I remember the night I returned. The welcome wasn't the best. I arrived at my doorstep without a key, reminded that I gave my room away to a subletter for the summer. I knocked but roommate didn't answer. I called and got the same result.
Got a call back eventually, only to find he was in the city with a friend. Had no complaints though, neighbor was nice enough to take me in. She even provided couch, cookie, and milk.
Stepped into a messy apartment, brushed my teeth on a hairy bathroom floor, and discovered a bed stank of someone else's scent. I dropped the entirety of my summer belongings on the floor, postponing unpacking to another day. And I ripped off the sheets and placed my only fresh blanket on top. I'd deal w/ it all later. It was already 3am. Goodnight.
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Woke up the next morning fighting an urge to fabricate some excuse to miss the non-mandatory day of work, but dragged myself anyway. I did the same drive on highway 13 I did the day before I left for London. During it, I couldn't help but curse how quickly I was speeding back to real life. Only hours before I was in New York, only a week before I was floating idly by on the Mediterranean, and now I'm making my way back to Skyline w/ my work bag and thermost both filled. Not only this, something in me disliked the sameness of it all. The same posters on my wall, the same route to work, the same... everything.
Funny thing, though: what pushed me towards escape this summer is the same thing that's been most welcoming. It's good to be back. Real good. To feel purposed again, to interact w/ like minded colleagues again, to be around peers I respect, to share and exchange ideas...
In my short career, never have I felt so confident, enthusiastic, and mentally ready for the first day. This work is not a chore. I'm even enjoying the meetings. Yes! The meetings!
Maybe all it takes is a break to rekindle your relationship w/ something. As a firm believer of "do what you love, love what you do" - I happily report that this renewed vigor & attitude for teaching is easily also a renewed vigor & attitude for life.
3 comments:
I don't understand how to navigate my way around your blog en espanol. Speak American.
i kid.
Sorry your homecoming was so un-homey :/ had i known you were coming home, i would have posted a "welcome home" banner like your "Happy 40th Birthday" one.
LOL, just read this.
Note: before you left, you left a bunch of dishes (that I washed) and a bunch of hair on the bathroom floor (that I did not clean up).
I figured you'd feel more at home coming to your own hair on the bathroom floor!
i love the feeling of coming back to a routine, a sameness, a familiarity, but knowing that YOU have been through so much and are anything but the same.
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