The Last One Left

I'll be real. It's been process, accepting that I'm still here. In Berkeley. I remember there was a moment, where I looked around to see who was left. There was no one. Only me.

I know I've been here too long. Dwight Way & Telegraph Ave - both part of my morning routine for too long. Same w/ my restaurant options, same w/ my post office, my bank, my bart stop, my church, my park. Everyone else is fluid and I remain static.

Only a few months ago, I flipped a coin: one side was change. Seeking every opportunity for growth - no regard for risk. No need to consider the new environment nor the new job nor the new cast of characters. I need change, and I want it now.

The other side defined by comfort, by focus, by doing what's practical, keeping an eye on the future and a 5 year plan that'll involve change - carefully laying out how but not necessarily happening now.

Another year's coming to a close and the likelihood that I'll spend another here is comforting and scary. I want a new situation. I can visualize it. But I'm afraid to take the plunge. I need to take the plunge. If not a major one, at least a small one. London will be a well-deserved intermission. It'll quench my thirst. But I fear the months of Fall if nothing's changed upon my return. I need change. I do. At least a lil.